-.-.-.DATE 2009-08-11 TIME 18:02:31


- Well... the truth is... I had a girlfriend once, Stephanie. I was crazy about her. For her, I could've done just about anything... he said and kept his eyes down.

          I stared at him, I wanted him to continue. What was his intention with this?

          Finally he looked up, his eyes wet with tears, though none of them escaped from his eyes.
- I really loved her. He said
- What happened? I answered, still confused about where this was going.
- I found out she never really liked me at all... You see, there was this other girl, Tracy, right? Tracy and Steph really hated each other, I don't know why though. Must be one of those girl things I guess... well, Steph found out that Tracy was mad crazy about me, and since Steph wanted to make things hell for Tracy she stepped in and totally monopolized me. Apparently she only went out with me to make Tracy jealous, and to make it even worse for Tracy Steph knew she had one of the school's most popular guys eating right out of her hand, she sure loved to let everyone at school know that. She never did like just me. And just right after that I find out that Steph had been cheating on me with my best friend Casey for two months! And there I was, walking around like some fucking idiot thinking we were the perfect couple. He laughed humorlessly and said: some wicked story huh?
- Wow... was all I could say.
- Wow... yeah, I know. If she hadn't forgotten her phone at my place that night I would've never found out. She hurt me real bad... and well... since then I've never really thought of girls more than just an.. well... an object to have fun with.
- So is that what you think of me as? An object to have fun with? Do you think I'm your freaking playboy or something!? I tried to keep it down, wouldn't want to wake everyone else up.
- Well... of course not... you know... it's just... He looked down now. He was probably too afraid to show me that the fresh guilt was eating him up. Good. I hoped it did.
- You're unbelievable Scott, I said and shook my head. Please get out of my room.
- But... V... I wanted to tell you something... he said and looked up.
- Oh great, what's next? Oh V, I came here hoping you were dumb enough to fall for my stupid charm so I could get you into bed and have a little fun, just so you know, I imitated. Please Scott, you're such a hypocrite. Just get out. Now. I said not looking at him, using my serious voice now.

          He listened and went out without a word.

          I needed to think. This had hit me like a bomb. I knew he was too good to be true. Just when I'm about to give in and let my feelings speak for themselves I get hit in the stomach. So I was just his little toy huh? Way to go Vanessa. I was so mad at him.
- Thinking his all that... I grumbled. I should have sticked to my first plan. Which reminded me... I was no better than Scott. What Scott did to me, I did to him. Oh my god, I'm such a hypocrite!

          But at least I stopped, right? So it doesn't really count, right? I wanted to have him, but in a different way than what I had planned for him in the very first beginning. That has got to count for something, right? Oh what am I doing, asking myself stupid questions I know I'll get away with because I will be the one to answer them. I must be nuts. But still, I feel like I did the right thing. Hah! The right thing? I seduced him first! I did, didn't I? Oh here I go again, arguing with myself. What, do I have schizophrenia now too? Isn't nuts enough anymore these days? The world was so unfair.

          I lay down in my bed and pulled the cover over my face. I couldn't sleep. So I started yelling at Scott in my head using words I had never used before, I wasn't sure if some of them even existed. But it felt good, and soon my eyelids felt heavy as I dozed off into a less complicated world.

          Two days had passed and I still wasn't talking to Scott. He had moved in to his aunt's house, and god knows for how long he will stay there. He had tried to talk to me several times, but like a stupid little child I had glared at him, and then walked away. Which I admit wasn't the very best way to handle the situation, but a girl's gotta keep up her dignity, right? I wasn't going to let him get away that easily, not after the way he had treated me. It's all about keeping your head high. But then there was this other side of me, the so called "good" side, well, also known as my conscience, that spoke with a loud and clear voice (though I tried to suppress it), and told me to forgive and forget and talk to Scott and tell him about my being just as bad as him. Yeah right, like that would ever happen.


Riktigt bra! Jag hoppas du upptaderar den snart! :D<33

DATE 2009-08-11 TIME 18:36:00

waa så bra !

DATE 2009-08-11 TIME 19:49:11

Äntligen kom den, fast jag kommer nog fortfarande komma med hur många kommetnarer som helst om fortsättningen :P<3

DATE 2009-08-17 TIME 14:48:56

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