when in my bed the thought finally hit me: what had we done? I mean... we only slept.. right? I closed my eyes and tried to focus. But I couldn't remember anything! Was my memory really that much similar to a goldfish? I shook my head and filled my lungs with air. No, no. nothing happened, of course not. How silly of me to think such a way, I mean... i'm a virgin. The silly thoughts that had run in my mind made me laugh. How easily I get carried away!

          I leaned down on my bed and turned on the cd player.

          I must have drifted off a bit because next thing I know the whole house is in motion. Then the door to my room opened and a fresh smell of pancakes and syrup searched through my nose. My stomach growled.

- good morning, Scott said and pulled off that sweet smile of his.

- Morning.. I answered, not turning my head from the screen. I didn't want to get caught in his hypnotizing glare or perhaps melt from his perfect smile. I crossed my fingers he wouldn't mention last night. It was embarrassing as it was already.

- There are pancakes downstairs waiting for you, he said. I could still feel his smile in his words.

-  i'm not hungry, I answered as if my mind was somewhere else. Which was true.

          He hesitated by the door, but then he came to sit beside me on my bed.

- so I talked to my parents... he waited for a response, but none came so he continued

- I can stay! Well, I have to stay here until tomorrow, because then my aunt will arrive.

          I still didn't speak a word. My heart was racing too fast for me to keep up with it. My blood pushed through my veins in an incredible speed. I couldn't risk say anything without sounding too enthusiastic, besides I had to work on my mask. If I spoke now, I would totally destroy the whole i-don't-care-about-you act.

          He rose and made his way towards the door, but then stopped and said:

- oh well, what's the point in staying, you don't want me here anyway... he sounded vulnerable, but there was still a little hint of irony behind his words. Then he sighed deeply and loud enough for me to hear. Weak as I had become for him, I fell for it.

- Please stay? I asked, well actually, it sounded more like begging to me.

          He turned around, met my eyes and smiled. Stupid, perfect, flawless, beautiful smile.

- well... ok then, for you, he said and smiled, AGAIN.

          What was up with that boy? Always smiling. And not just any smile, it was that perfect, crooked smile. That smile that always left a dimple on his left cheek. The smile that had made me melt like ice on a sunny day. Did he always have to pull that on me?! I bet he knows what that smile does to me. What was up with him, manipulating me in that way. It wasn't fair.

          This felt like the longest day ever. Nothing special really happened. And by that I mean, NOTHING AT ALL! Scott didn't even flirt with me! He didn't even smile my favorite crooked smile, no, he just had to go all movie star like and flash those hollywood-looking straight smiles. That was definitely not MY smile. He didn't even look in my eyes for more than two seconds, if he even looked at all. Maybe just because we were always under the supervision of my dad... he wouldn't let Scott out of his sight for one brief second! And whenever I was around too, his eyes tightened, as if he knew something was up between me and Scott. Perfect dad! Always overreacting, always ruining things for me.

          Now I was standing in front of my window, looking out on the street. My parents and Scott were probably asleep now, the time was almost midnight. The sky was thick black and I could only see two bright stars, shining right next to each other. As if they were each others comfort. I needed a comfort...